Advice - Revision history

Rasmusen p1vaim at 20:29, 13 August 2021

2021-08-13T20:29:59Z

Rasmusen p1vaim: /* Cover Letter for Getting a Summer Job */

2021-04-27T19:51:20Z

‎Cover Letter for Getting a Summer Job

Rasmusen p1vaim at 19:49, 27 April 2021

2021-04-27T19:49:47Z

Rasmusen p1vaim: /* Cover Letter for Getting a Summer Job */

2021-04-27T19:49:26Z

‎Cover Letter for Getting a Summer Job

Rasmusen p1vaim: /* Cover Letter for Getting a Summer Job */

2021-04-27T19:35:21Z

‎Cover Letter for Getting a Summer Job

Rasmusen p1vaim at 19:34, 27 April 2021

2021-04-27T19:34:00Z

Rasmusen p1vaim at 19:33, 27 April 2021

2021-04-27T19:33:14Z

Rasmusen p1vaim at 19:32, 27 April 2021

2021-04-27T19:32:40Z

Rasmusen p1vaim at 19:26, 27 April 2021

2021-04-27T19:26:33Z

Rasmusen p1vaim at 19:26, 27 April 2021

2021-04-27T19:26:18Z

@@ Line 12: / Line 12: @@
 <br>
-Benjamin Won Rasmusen <br>
+John Quentin Smith <br>
-bwrasmusen@gmail.com, (812) 331-1123.<br><br>
+jsmithn@gmail.com, (812) 333-3823.<br><br>
 ----
 Here is the annotated version, explaining the significance of each part.
@@ Line 60: / Line 60: @@
 ::''Standard, boring, conventional valediction, best for not distracting from the rest of your letter.''
-*Benjamin Won Rasmusen
+*John Quentin Smith
 ::''The middle name is distinctive, so they're more likely to remember your application, and will make them a bit curious about you, because they'll wonder why you were named that way.''
-*bwrasmusen@gmail.com, (812) 331-1123.
+*jsmithn@gmail.com, (812) 333-3823.
 ::''You want it to be really convenient to contact you, even if they lose your resume.''
 ''You should rewrite this in your own personal style. Keep the substance the same, but use words that would come naturally to you.''
 ----

@@ Line 28: / Line 28: @@
 *I just finished my freshman year of Engineering at Purdue
-::''This says that you are a smart guy but with no engineering experience.''
+::''This says that you are a smart guy but with no engineering experience. You need to tell them your weak points. They will soon realize them anyway, so face up to them.''
 *with grades good enough to keep my scholarship there,
@@ Line 46: / Line 46: @@
 *and dependable and to not be the weak link in a small team
- ::''Every manager knows who the weakest link on his team is, and that that person can drag everybody else down. At Five Guys, in particular, it's a real team and the Fries Guy is crucial. It also is informative that you know how important teamwork is.''
+::''Every manager knows who the weakest link on his team is, and that that person can drag everybody else down. At Five Guys, in particular, it's a real team and the Fries Guy is crucial. It also is informative that you know how important teamwork is.''
 *(playing defense on my high school soccer team taught me this too).
-::This reinforces the idea that you know how important dependability and teamwork are, and adds that you must have gotten your good grades necessary to get into Purdue while spending a lot of time at sports practice, making those grades extra impressive.
+::'' This reinforces the idea that you know how important dependability and teamwork are, and adds that you must have gotten your good grades necessary to get into Purdue while spending a lot of time at sports practice, making those grades extra impressive. ''
 *My parents live in Bloomington, and I would like work within driving distance of home.

@@ Line 13: / Line 13: @@
 <br>
 Benjamin Won Rasmusen <br>
-bwrasmusen@gmail.com, (812) 331-1123.
+bwrasmusen@gmail.com, (812) 331-1123.<br><br>
 ----
 Here is the annotated version, explaining the significance of each part.

@@ Line 6: / Line 6: @@
 Dear Sir or Madam,
-I suddenly find myself looking for a summer job, internship, or volunteer opportunity.  Paid employment would be the best, but engineering-job experience is what I really need, and I am willing to sacrifice money for experience.  I just finished my freshman year at Purdue with grades good enough to keep my scholarship there, though my only engineering course so far is Engineering I-a and I-b.  I did a lot with Python and my writing ability is well above average (my verbal SAT was xxx).  I worked as a "Fries Guy" for Five Guys in high school cooking french fries, so I know how to be punctual and dependable and to not be the weak link in a small team.  My parents live in Bloomington, and I would like work within driving distance of home.  Resume attached.
+I suddenly find myself looking for a summer job, internship, or volunteer opportunity.  Paid employment would be the best, but engineering-job experience is what I really need, and I am willing to sacrifice money for experience.  I just finished my freshman year of Engineering at Purdue with grades good enough to keep my scholarship there, though my only engineering courses so far are Honors Engineering I-a and I-b.  I did a lot with Python and my writing ability is well above average (my verbal SAT was xxx).  I worked as a "Fries Guy" for Five Guys in high school cooking french fries, so I know how to be punctual and dependable and to not be the weak link in a small team  (playing defense on my high school soccer team taught me this too).  My parents live in Bloomington, and I would like work within driving distance of home.  Resume attached.
 <br>
@@ Line 22: / Line 22: @@
 *I suddenly find myself looking
-::''sdfsdfd''
+::''This is a delicate allusion to the fact that you are looking for a job in late April, when you should have been writing to them in January.''
 *for a summer job, internship, or volunteer opportunity.  Paid employment would be the best, but engineering-job experience is what I really need, and I am willing to sacrifice money for experience.
-::''sdfsdfd''
+::''You want to convey that you don't need the job to earn money, but to learn, and that if necessary, you'd take a zero-pay job with great experience instead of a high-pay job with no useful experience. But you also want to say that money is nonetheless attractive.''
-*I just finished my freshman year at Purdue
+*I just finished my freshman year of Engineering at Purdue
-::''sdfsdfd''
+::''This says that you are a smart guy but with no engineering experience.''
 *with grades good enough to keep my scholarship there,
-::''sdfsdfd''
+::''This conveys two things: (a) you got high grades, and (b) Purdue valued you enough to give you a scholarship.''
-*though my only engineering course so far is Engineering I-a and I-b.
+*though my only engineering courses so far are Honors Engineering I-a and I-b.
-::''sdfsdfd''
+::''This reinforces the message that you are smart but inexperienced.''
 *I did a lot with Python
-::''sdfsdfd''
+::''Python is a very good skill to have.''
 *and my writing ability is well above average (my verbal SAT was xxx).
-::''sdfsdfd''
+::''Writing ability is an unusual skill for an engineering student to have, so this shows you have an unusual strength, and provides some evidence for that, as well as reinforcing the message that you are smart. They can assume that you have a high math ACT score; you don't have to tell them that, and it would sound like boasting, not necessary conveyance of information.
-*I worked as a "Fries Guy" for Five Guys in high school cooking french fries, so I know how to be punctual and dependable and to not be the weak link in a small team.
+*(playing defense on my high school soccer team taught me this too).
-::''sdfsdfd''
+::This reinforces the idea that you know how important dependability and teamwork are, and adds that you must have gotten your good grades necessary to get into Purdue while spending a lot of time at sports practice, making those grades extra impressive.
 *My parents live in Bloomington, and I would like work within driving distance of home.
-::''sdfsdfd''
+::''Employers like students who live at home, where they can't have rowdy parties. This also explains why even if you are an extra-good job candidate you would be willing to take this employer's job instead of one with Google or Tesla off in a distant state.''
 *Resume attached.
-::''sdfsdfd''
+::''Your resume will have lots of other important details. You shouldn't try to put everything in a cover letter; this one might have too much in it already.''
 *Sincerely Yours,
-::''sdfsdfd''
+::''Standard, boring, conventional valediction, best for not distracting from the rest of your letter.''
 *Benjamin Won Rasmusen
-::''sdfsdfd''
+::''The middle name is distinctive, so they're more likely to remember your application, and will make them a bit curious about you, because they'll wonder why you were named that way.''
 *bwrasmusen@gmail.com, (812) 331-1123.
-::''sdfsdfd''
+::''You want it to be really convenient to contact you, even if they lose your resume.''
-::''You should rewrite this in your own personal style. Keep the substance the same, but use words that would come naturally to you.''
+''You should rewrite this in your own personal style. Keep the substance the same, but use words that would come naturally to you.''
 ----

@@ Line 38: / Line 38: @@
 *I did a lot with Python
 *and my writing ability is well above average (my verbal SAT was xxx).
 *I worked as a "Fries Guy" for Five Guys in high school cooking french fries, so I know how to be punctual and dependable and to not be the weak link in a small team.
 *My parents live in Bloomington, and I would like work within driving distance of home.
 *Resume attached.
 *Sincerely Yours,
-*Benjamin Won Rasmusen <br>
+*Benjamin Won Rasmusen
 *bwrasmusen@gmail.com, (812) 331-1123.
 ----

@@ Line 19: / Line 19: @@
 *Dear Sir or Madam,
-''It is even better, but not necessary, to use the addressee's individual name. Use it if you know it.''
+::''It is even better, but not necessary, to use the addressee's individual name. Use it if you know it.''
 *I suddenly find myself looking

@@ Line 4: / Line 4: @@
 <br>
-Dear Sir or Madam.
+Dear Sir or Madam,
-I suddenly find myself looking for a summer job, internship, or volunteer opportunity.  Paid employment would be the best, but engineering-job experience is what I really need, and I am willing to sacrifice money for experience.  I just finished my freshman year at Purdue with grades good enough to keep my scholarship there, though my only engineering course so far is Engineering I-a and I-b.  I did a lot with Python and my writing ability is well above average (my verbal SAT was xxx).  I worked for Five Guys in high school, so I know how to be punctual and dependable.  My parents live in Bloomington, and I would like work within driving distance of home.  Resume attached.
+I suddenly find myself looking for a summer job, internship, or volunteer opportunity.  Paid employment would be the best, but engineering-job experience is what I really need, and I am willing to sacrifice money for experience.  I just finished my freshman year at Purdue with grades good enough to keep my scholarship there, though my only engineering course so far is Engineering I-a and I-b.  I did a lot with Python and my writing ability is well above average (my verbal SAT was xxx).  I worked as a "Fries Guy" for Five Guys in high school cooking french fries, so I know how to be punctual and dependable and to not be the weak link in a small team.  My parents live in Bloomington, and I would like work within driving distance of home.  Resume attached.
 <br>
@@ Line 17: / Line 17: @@
 Here is the annotated version, explaining the significance of each part.
 ----
 ----