Jokes - Revision history

Eric Rasmusen: /* Your Shoes Are Dirty */

2026-10-23T14:05:37Z

‎Your Shoes Are Dirty

Eric Rasmusen: /* All Odd Numbers Are Prime (The Polya Conjecture) */

2026-10-23T13:58:13Z

‎All Odd Numbers Are Prime (The Polya Conjecture)

Eric Rasmusen: /* Punctuation Jokes */

2026-10-14T19:01:56Z

‎Punctuation Jokes

Eric Rasmusen: /* Ham Sandwich Going Too Far */

2026-10-14T19:01:04Z

‎Ham Sandwich Going Too Far

Eric Rasmusen: /* The Lady Looking from the Attic */

2026-10-14T18:48:30Z

‎The Lady Looking from the Attic

Eric Rasmusen: /* The lady and the boys swimming naked */

2026-10-14T18:44:43Z

‎The lady and the boys swimming naked

Eric Rasmusen: /* Quotable, Abe Lincoln Style, Jokes */

2026-10-14T18:39:53Z

‎Quotable, Abe Lincoln Style, Jokes

Eric Rasmusen: /* The German square root of 81 */

2026-10-14T18:37:13Z

‎The German square root of 81

Eric Rasmusen: /* The Old Lady Looking from the Attic */

2026-10-13T21:36:56Z

‎The Old Lady Looking from the Attic

Eric Rasmusen: /* Business Jokes */

2026-10-13T21:36:25Z

‎Business Jokes

@@ Line 168: / Line 168: @@
 ''Hillbilly:''"What shoes? I ain't got no shoes."<br>
-   This joke is another mnemonic for remembering what anybody but a hillbilly knows "Negative, Negative, Comes Out Positive" [(-2)(-3) = 6.]  If you tell it  omitting "I ain't got no shoes" the joke is better but it doesn't make the math point.
+   This joke is a mnemonic for remembering what anybody but a hillbilly knows "Negative, Negative, Comes Out Positive" [(-2)(-3) = 6.] If you tell it omitting "I ain't got no shoes" the joke is better but it doesn't make the math point.
-   Note also that you can tell this as a Kentucky or a West Virginia joke if you want.
+   Note also that you can tell this as a Kentucky or a West Virginia joke.
-Á===All Odd Numbers Are Prime (The Polya Conjecture)===
+===All Odd Numbers Are Prime (The Polya Conjecture)===
-An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician,a psychologist,a sociologist,a law professor, and a grievance studies professor walk into a bar, and someone offers to buy a drink for whoever has the best proof that all odd numbers greater than 1 are prime.
+An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, a psychologist, a sociologist, an education professor, and a women's studies professor walk into a bar and someone offers to buy a drink for whoever has the best proof that all odd numbers greater than 1 are prime.
-The  engineer  says, "3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime,  so all odd numbers are prime."
+The engineer says, "3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime, so all odd numbers are prime."
 The physicist says: ‘3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime, 9’s  not a prime --hmmm, but let's go on---11's a prime, 13's a prime... It must be 9 was measurement error.
-The mathematician says: "3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime. Therefore, by  induction, all odd numbers are prime."
+The mathematician says: "3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime. Therefore, by induction, all odd numbers are prime."
-The psychologist says: "I told my R.A. our conjecture, and having rechecked his work, he now reports that 3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime, 9's a prime, 11's a prime, 13's a prime, 15's a prime, and so is every other odd number."
+The psychologist says: "I told my R.A. our conjecture, and having rechecked his work after I scolded him for some preliminary miscalculations, he now reports that 3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime, 9's a prime, 11's a prime, 13's a prime, 15's a prime, and so is every other odd number."
 The sociologist says: "3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime, 9's a prime,..."
-The law professor says,"First of all, my billing rate is $400/hour, and it runs for every 15-minute increment..."
+The education professor says: "What's a prime number?"
-−
-The grievance studies professor  says: "What's a prime number?"
+The women's studies professor says: "Are you calling me odd?"
 .<br>
@@ Line 196: / Line 194: @@
 ''Notes:''<br>
 . A prime number is  a number greater than 1 that is evenly divisible only by itself and 1.<br>
-. Engineers are known for being satisfied with equations and other mathematical conclusions that are only approximately true, not exactly true.  Physicists are known for thinking a lot about how precisely their instruments measure things. Mathematicians are known for being very proud of how exact and rigorous they are, but for making mistakes sometimes anyway.  Psychologists  are known for publishing fraudulent results and for pressuring subordinates to make up data. Sociologists are known for lack of mathematical ability. Lawyers are known for their high fees. Grievance studies professors ar known for being even worse at math than sociologists.  All of these are stereotypes; whether the stereotypes have any truth in them, you must judge. Someone is free to add my own field, "economics" to the joke. Accounting may have possibilities too.
+. Engineers are known for being satisfied with equations and other mathematical conclusions that are only approximately true, not exactly true. Physicists are known for thinking a lot about how precisely their instruments measure things. Mathematicians are known for being very proud of how exact and rigorous they are, but for making mistakes sometimes anyway.  Psychologists  are known for publishing fraudulent results and for pressuring subordinates to make up data. Sociologists are known for lack of mathematical ability. Education   professors are known for being even worse at math than sociologists. Women's studies professors are known for taking everything personally and not knowing any math at all. All of these are stereotypes. Whether the stereotypes have any truth in them, you must judge. Someone is free to add my own field, "economics" to the joke. Accounting may have possibilities too.
 <br>
 .  The 1919 [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P%C3%B3lya_conjecture Polya Conjecture],  made by the author of the famous 1945 book, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Solve_It ''How To Solve It''], was that over half of the numbers less than any number N have an odd number of prime factors. For example there are eight numbers less than
@@ Line 203: / Line 201: @@
 See also [https://twitter.com/pickover/status/1576942239162376192 this approximation of pi] that is exact for some 40 million digits but then fails.
 <br>
-. See [http://www.rasmusen.org/special/Cedars_School/Odd_number_script.pdf  here ] for a script for performance of this joke by junior high kids.
+. See [http://www.rasmusen.org/special/Cedars_School/Odd_number_script.pdf here ] for a script for performance of this joke by junior high kids.
 ===The Pythagorean Theorem Joke===

@@ Line 171: / Line 171: @@
    Note also that you can tell this as a Kentucky or a West Virginia joke if you want.
-===All Odd Numbers Are Prime (The Polya Conjecture)===
+Á===All Odd Numbers Are Prime (The Polya Conjecture)===
-An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician,   a psychologist, a sociologist,  a law professor, and a grievance studies professor  walk into a bar, and someone offers to buy a drink for whoever has the best proof that all numbers are prime.
+An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician,a psychologist,a sociologist,a law professor, and a grievance studies professor walk into a bar, and someone offers to buy a drink for whoever has the best proof that all odd numbers greater than 1 are prime.
-The  engineer  says, "1’s a prime, 3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime,  so all odd numbers are prime."
+The  engineer  says, "3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime,  so all odd numbers are prime."
-The physicist says: ‘1’s a prime, 3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime, 9’s  not a prime --hmmm, but let's go on---11's a prime, 13's a prime.. It must be 9 was measurement error.
+The physicist says: ‘3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime, 9’s  not a prime --hmmm, but let's go on---11's a prime, 13's a prime... It must be 9 was measurement error.
-The mathematician says: "1’s a prime, 3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime. Therefore, by  induction, all odd numbers are prime."
+The mathematician says: "3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime. Therefore, by  induction, all odd numbers are prime."
-The psychologist says: "I told my R.A. our conjecture, and having rechecked his work, he now reports that 1’s a prime, 3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime, 9's a prime, 11's a prime, 13's a prime, 15's a prime, and so  is every other odd number."
+The psychologist says: "I told my R.A. our conjecture, and having rechecked his work, he now reports that 3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime, 9's a prime, 11's a prime, 13's a prime, 15's a prime, and so is every other odd number."
-The sociologist says: "1’s a prime, 3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime, 9's a prime,..."
+The sociologist says: "3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime, 9's a prime,..."
 The law professor says,"First of all, my billing rate is $400/hour, and it runs for every 15-minute increment..."
 The grievance studies professor  says: "What's a prime number?"

@@ Line 71: / Line 71: @@
 Start with a large fortune.
-==Punctuation Jokes==
+==Word Jokes==
 ===The Dean's Memo to the Chairman about His Faculty===
 Which question does the Dean want answered, the Chairman wonders.

@@ Line 53: / Line 53: @@
 ===Ham Sandwich Going Too Far===
-   A lubavicher came up to a student  and said, "Are you Jewish?"
+   A Lubavicher came up to a student  and said, "Are you Jewish?"
   "Yes."
-   "Do you pray every morning and evening?"
+   "Do you refrain from turning on light switches and carrying keys on the Sabbath?"
   "Yes."
-   "Do you walk only 100 yards from your home on the Sabbath?"
+"Do you say your Shacharit, Mincha, and Maariv prayers each day, wearing the tefillin in the morning?"
    "Yes."
     "Then why are you eating a ham and cheese sandwich?"

@@ Line 51: / Line 51: @@
 ===The Lady Looking from the Attic===
 A farm lady called the sheriff and told him a bunch of boys were swimming naked in the creek near her house. The sheriff came out and told the boys to move down the creek some. Then the lady called again and said she could still see them from her bedroom window. The sheriff went down and told them to move even further away. But the lady called a third time. She told the sheriff that she could still see the boys, if she went up to the attic window and used binoculars. This time the sheriff didn’t come out.
 ==Business Jokes==

@@ Line 49: / Line 49: @@
 "AAAAAAH! KREPLAAACH!"
-===The lady and the boys swimming naked===
+===The Lady Looking from the Attic===
 A farm lady called the sheriff and told him a bunch of boys were swimming naked in the creek near her house. The sheriff came out and told the boys to move down the creek some. Then the lady called again and said she could still see them from her bedroom window. The sheriff went down and told them to move even further away. But the lady called a third time. She told the sheriff that she could still see the boys, if she went up to the attic window and used binoculars. This time the sheriff didn’t come out.

@@ Line 68: / Line 68: @@
 ===The  German square root of 81===
+Do you know the German for the square root of 81?
+Nein.
 ===Theorem: 60 is an even number.===

@@ Line 494: / Line 494: @@
 https://babylonbee.com/news/lets-all-remain-peaceful-says-trump-in-clear-incitement-to-violence/?utm_content=bufferbf3b6&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer<br>
 https://babylonbee.com/news/amazoncom-thrown-off-aws-for-selling-trumps-art-of-the-deal/?utm_content=buffer70d84&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer
 ==Science Jokes==

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:36, 13 October 2026
Line 16:		Line 16:

	*[https://www.instagram.com/p/CulQCVNrU0B/ "We'll never solve math"] Jay Cummings.		*[https://www.instagram.com/p/CulQCVNrU0B/ "We'll never solve math"] Jay Cummings.
		+
		+	==Quotable, Abe Lincoln Style, Jokes==
		+	===The lady and the boys swimming naked===
		+	A farm lady called the sheriff and told him a bunch of boys were swimming naked in the creek near her house. The sheriff came out and told the boys to move down the creek some. Then the lady called again and said she could still see them from her bedroom window. The sheriff went down and told them to move even further away. But the lady called a third time. She told the sheriff that she could still see the boys, if she went up to the attic window and used binoculars. This time the sheriff didn’t come out.
		+

	==Business Jokes==		==Business Jokes==