{"id":290,"date":"2014-01-26T01:06:53","date_gmt":"2014-01-26T06:06:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/?p=290"},"modified":"2019-10-13T16:36:56","modified_gmt":"2019-10-13T21:36:56","slug":"nerd-humor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/archives\/290","title":{"rendered":"Nerd Humor :D (includes Viola Jokes)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sometimes, one just needs a laugh in life. And what better way to fulfill that need than Nerd Humor?<\/p>\n

Math\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Said pi to the square root of -1: “Get real, dude.” Said the square root of -1 to pi: “Be rational.”<\/p>\n

If there’s a fat guy in a pastry shop
\nWith a twenty dollar bill and he’s ready to buy,
\nIn order to predict his volume change
\nYou’ll need to know the value of pi. (lyrics from a song I don’t want to promote, so I won’t give it credit)<\/p>\n

Science<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

What did the scientist say when he found 2 helium isotopes? He He<\/p>\n

Hello, darling? Do you have 11 protons? Cause you are sodium fine. (A few of you know this one. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.<\/p>\n

There are two types of people in the world: 1. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data . . . (from Dilbert<\/em>)<\/p>\n

Music<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Hold me, I’m a fermata. \ud83d\ude1b<\/p>\n

What’s Mozart doing right now? Decomposing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"music\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Viola Jokes<\/strong> (hehe)<\/p>\n

What is the range of a viola? As far as you can kick it.<\/p>\n

What’s the definition of perfect pitch? Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim.<\/p>\n

Why do violists leave their instrument cases on the dashboard of their cars? So they can park in “handicapped” spaces.<\/p>\n

How does a violist’s brain cell die? Alone.<\/p>\n

What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is happy when the case is closed.<\/p>\n

How is lightning like a violist’s fingers? Neither one strikes in the same place twice.<\/p>\n

What is the definition of a minor second? 2 violists playing in unison<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

and<\/strong> {just so the violists don’t hate me too much<\/em>}\u00a0Violin Jokes<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

What’s the difference between a violin and a viola? There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist’s head is so much bigger.<\/p>\n

Why are viola jokes so short? So violinists can understand them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometimes, one just needs a laugh in life. And what better way to fulfill that need than Nerd Humor? Math\u00a0 Said pi to the square root of -1: “Get real, dude.” Said the square root of -1 to pi: “Be rational.” If there’s a fat guy in a pastry shop With a twenty dollar bill…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,6],"tags":[33,32,35,34,38,36,37,39],"class_list":["post-290","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-writings","tag-nerdout","tag-haha","tag-humor","tag-laugh","tag-music-nerd","tag-nerdy","tag-punny","tag-viola-jokes"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4WcVY-4G","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/290","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=290"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/290\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":913,"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/290\/revisions\/913"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=290"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=290"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=290"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}