{"id":607,"date":"2014-06-11T11:49:53","date_gmt":"2014-06-11T16:49:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/?p=607"},"modified":"2015-06-17T14:10:39","modified_gmt":"2015-06-17T19:10:39","slug":"schizophrenic-musings-by-sherlock-holmes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/archives\/607","title":{"rendered":"“Schizophrenic Musings” by Sherlock Holmes"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
Who says I can’t write? Hm. Let’s give it a go.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\"Hands<\/p>\n

7\/25\/2010<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My intellect’s sharp, unmatched, and bold.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

With no time for emotion, my heart’s grown cold.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A good thing, really, for sentiment hampers.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It fogs up the system and good logic dampers.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I don’t need \u201cfriends.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It’s the public’s\u00a0creation.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I serve myself, not this God-forlorn nation.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Besides, I’m a sociopath, did I mention?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We’re kids who were thrown in detention<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

for saying mean words and making her cry,<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

for causing emotion and not knowing why.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

People baffle me \u2013 their idiot ways!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But they’re all like ants, anyways.<\/p>\n

I can’t stand how they act \u2013 the things they do!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I don’t need them and I don’t need you.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Of course I don’t want someone to make me feel valued,<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

nor someone to speak to, to share in my life.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I wanna spread marmite, so hand me a knife,<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

and stop saying that I need a person around.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I’m turning schitzophrenic, talking to me –<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But at least I’ve got Mycroft. . . .\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Who makes me feel dumber each time that I see him.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Just let me sink in Misery’s arms alone.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I don’t care what they say about \u201cfriends.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

RRRIIIIIINNNNGGGG!!<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

{Pauses typing to stare in irritation at cellphone. Types madly:}<\/p>\n

These words I scribble down in haste,\u00a0 RRRIIIIIINNNNGGGG!!<\/i>
\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

poetry never was my taste. RRRIIIIIINNNNGGGG!!<\/i>
\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

That schitzophrenia’s working in me, RRRIIIIIINNNNGGGG!!<\/i>
\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

for only humans <\/del>dolts\u00a0write poetry.\u00a0\u00a0 RRRIIIIIINNNNGGGG!!<\/i>
\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

RRRIIIIIINNNNGGGG!<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

{Picks up phone}<\/p>\n

Hello? Oh, you found someone? A John Watson? Yes. That is superb. He’s looking for a flat in the same area? All right, tomorrow at St. Bart’s. Goodbye.<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I don’t need a friend.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"oh,<\/p>\n

\u00a0MWAHAHAHAHA<\/p>\n

\":)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sherlock Holmes does not require friendship. At least that’s what he thinks…. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[107,19,111,27,108,109,3,110],"class_list":["post-607","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writings","tag-sherlocked","tag-useyourbrain","tag-bbc-series","tag-british","tag-friends","tag-mycroft","tag-poetry","tag-sherlock"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4WcVY-9N","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/607","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=607"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/607\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1091,"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/607\/revisions\/1091"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=607"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=607"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rasmusen.org\/special\/ameliajane\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=607"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}