Why High School Dating is Stupid. (aka. Love Advice from Auntie A)

Just an FYI, if you haven’t realized this already, dating in high school is way overrated.

People’s Reasons For Dating in High School

• We are madly in love and will marry right after we graduate. (rare)
• For the purpose of revenge. Exp: stealing an enemy’s boyfriend/girlfriend (rare)
• Climbing the social hierarchy
• Everyone else does it
• Sex
• It makes me feel all floaty and happy
• It’s fun.
• I feel like an unattractive dork without a girlfriend/boyfriend.
• I’d like to get to know the person. <-( not really a reason; more of a lie as you can get to know a person by being FRIENDS, duh)

Do any but the first seem beneficial and productive? Each other reason is flimsy, harmful, immoral, or a combination of the three.

FLIMSY (leads to harmful): Using dating to boost self-esteem is a poor choice as it will end in your self-esteem level dropping and dropping. Getting dumped is not a pleasant experience. That “floaty” feeling you get will not last long before stress kicks in. It may be fun at first, but when he/she gets jealous, it will not be fun. If you get into a relationship your options are closed. When a better match for you comes along, you have to dump your current boyfriend/girlfriend which is highly stressful and painful. But if you find the perfect match and date him/her as a 16 year old, the chances of you getting married are low. He/she may change over the developmental high school years. Christians turn atheist, girly girls go goth, and macho “men” decide they’re gay. In short, things are as unpredictable as the weather when dealing with many teens.

HARMFUL: Much drama and emotional turmoil forms in the lives of everyone who knows you. People you have been friends with will suddenly stop talking to you because you “stole” the person they had a secret crush on. If you are constantly changing old boyfriends/girlfriends out for new ones, everyone will call you mean and shallow. And if you dump someone, all their friends will shun you.

Speaking of friends, if you are in a serious dating relationship you will lose your friends. Investing all your time in your girlfriend/boyfriend is unwise because when you break up, you might suddenly discover that your close friends have partied and grown closer to each other – without you. And you will feel lonely.

IMMORAL: In 2009, 46% of high school students had sex. (cdc.gov) Yeah. Highschool dating can be mostly physical. As well as being immoral, this causes physical and emotional damage. Pregnant girls panic and get abortions and cry and cry and cry. The guy also panics and doesn’t know what to do. I think you get the gist of this section.

Also in this category would be the use of dating to hurt others. A girl, when given the chance to seduce another girl’s boyfriend might do it if the other girl had hurt her or bullied her in the past. A boy might date a girl just to play with her and watch her fall for him, tearing her heart to shreds for his own amusement.

IN CONCLUSION: If you really like somebody, I would advise you to wait. They may be able to tell you like them, but declarations of love only make things awkward at this stage in life. And a lot of the time, romantic relationships won’t accomplish anything. Hang out with him/her, be friends. Get to know him/her well. (I often find that teen boyfriends and girlfriends don’t actually know each other that well because they’re always trying to impress each other.) I assure you, the commitment can wait until you can keep it.

After writing all this, I would just like to say, “Girls, do not pursue the guys. Let them pursue you.” If I got into my reasons and evidence I would go on for ages, so I will let you ponder this statement.

Farewell. Farewell. Good luck with your love life (or not). 🙂