Coffee Shop Encounter

Nia – Hobby: Conversing with strangers.

After school, the best place to walk to is a coffee shop. There one can do homework, write, eat pastries, and drink coffee in a warm, distraction-free environment. Well, maybe not always the “distraction-free” part. . . 

 

Freetime. Ahhh. Briefly flying into the house, I grabbed a purse and sauntered into the coffee shop two minutes away where I ordered a latte and a sweet. Breathing in coffee fumes, I settled down at a rickety, little table with my laptop and sketchbook and dropped into deepest concentration as I drew a portrait in pen and watercolor of an eccentric, mustached man with a polka-dot bowtie. I paused, sort of glancing covertly at an old guy with an amazing afro, wondering if I could manage to draw him without him noticing. In my absorption, I didn’t notice the person approaching me until she was directly before me.

“Hi! Do you study art?”

Before me was a girl, slim with short, multicolored hair, petite features, piercings, and beautiful, sparkling eyes. She wore bright lipstick and a silver necklace. Her face expressed pure vitality.

“Yeah,” I said, bemused.

“I’m studying art too. Can I see?” She motioned to my drawing.

“Sure! Can I see yours?”

“Yeah, I didn’t bring much though; just small sketches. Mind if I sit down?”

“Not at all.”

We conversed for about an hour straight about art projects, stress, whether or not drugs are OK, police maintenance in Oxford, private schools vs. public schools, androgyny, school uniforms, the class system and feminism. At some point, I asked her about her astounding friendliness.

“Oh, yeah. I love talking to strangers. In London, it’s sort of difficult, because people kind of flip you off if you try to strike up conversation. They’re sort of stiff, and, you know, ‘too cool for you, bro’, but I’ve learned to observe whether or not people are safe. Whether they’re going to punch you in the face or cuss at you or follow you home.”

“Have you been doing this your entire life?”

“Well, I thought I started just a year or two ago, but then I realized I’ve been doing this since I was really little. That’s actually how my family moved to England.”

Nia’s story:

“When I was five, there was a man who would always walk by our house, every day, on his way to work. I would be out playing in our front yard at the same time. I couldn’t speak to him because at the time I didn’t know English, so each day I would pick a flower from the grass and hand it to him. Eventually, he knocked on our door and told my mom I was giving him flowers. Somehow, he ended up inviting our family to dinner at his house. That man ended up becoming our closest family friend. When we were thinking about moving to England, he helped with the paperwork and everything.”

“Wow! So your hobby is literally conversing with strangers?!? Wow.”

She smiled. “My record for speaking to a stranger is two hours. I was passing by this bench in Birmingham and there was a man sitting there. I passed by sometime later and he was still there. I was like, ‘Man on a bench, why not?’ and sat down next to him and began to speak.”

She paused.

“It’s funny; I’ve gotten so used to this. I can speak to a person for two hours, learn their philosophy in life and their life story, without revealing even my name or finding out theirs.”

“I don’t converse,” I said. “I just stare at a person and imagine their life story without saying a word. Like, oh, his wife probably died in a tragic accident and he’s raising his kids alone, but doesn’t know how to keep them groomed, and is fiercely overprotective.”

At a sudden pinch from my conscience, I realized I’d been out for a while. It was already dinner time. In two hours, I’d finished one drawing and struck up an acquaintance. Heh; productive.  Nia handed me her email and invited me to a lecture at the Ashmolean on feminist philosophy.

That meeting was such a burst of light on my ordinary routine. One of those exciting, unexpected phenomena that just sort of fly by. It was wonderful, though. Eyeopening. It made a glorious day even better.

And now, farewell. Drink chai lattes. Eat buttery, sugary food because it’s worth it. Farewell.